You ever feel like you've been so wrong about something that you must have been wrong about everything? Even if it wasn't your fault in thinking that way, that you felt as well as others felt that you were right, but over and over again it seems like you're not?

If you think that I'm wonderful, an inspirational leader, someone who just has life in the bag, I want you to understand that I go through this and am going through this. I don't know who I am just as much as you. Maybe even more so (or less depending on how you think of it).

Sometimes, I feel like I'm the very scum of this world, spreading messages that I am only hypocritical to, or messages that aren't actually the best ones even though my intentions were good. Sometimes, I feel like I do nothing but hurt the people around me, especially the ones closest. Sometimes, I feel like I'm really just a bother to everyone and they are unknowingly being dragged down by associating themselves with me.

These are all my thoughts and insecurities piled in to a paragraph. And this crap part of it is, the things in my life don't prove them wrong. I don't go out anymore, I try to be the best that I can be and only limit myself to a very select number of very few people to be close to. But even still, I can see myself abusing them, hurting them, and because of it, see that I'm only dragging them down.

I'm trying my very best.
But sometimes, I really truly feel like my best was never good enough...

that maybe its only made things worse.