Sixth Post

Wow. It's been a long time.

"Life is all about getting screwed. It's just up to you to make sure those screws all go in the right place."

I'm just going to go ahead and skip making the excuse that life has been too busy for me to blog. Quite the opposite really. Life finally went in to a "lull" for me and I enjoyed doing absolutely nothing; something that put me in to a type of procrastinatic mindset. I have no doubt this is going to bite me in the butt really soon.

I recently went in to a discussion about a number of things with my step sister and my parents. My step sister recently turned 25 and we had gone out to dinner and she ended up asking my parents how it feels to be raising "a prodigy". She then continued flattering me during her own birthday dinner while I denied it all, until my step father was able to save me; counter-attacking by flattering her right back. But, hours after her few comments, I still found my thoughts lingering on them. 

I am ready for the next phase of life.

At least I thought I did. My first two years of high school were the lowest points of my life, a point in my life that we will call Q1. When I finally got my bearings again around my sophomore year, my life became ridiculously busy, a fact that is still present today. No pun intended. We will call this point in life Q2. But now, more so, I have experienced performance after performance and countless opportunities that have been luckily coming my way, but recently things have been slowing down. It's made me feel as if I'm not doing what I need to be doing to keep things coming, that things shouldn't slow down but rather increase the harder I work.

I was getting bored.

I talked to my parents about this, voicing my frustrations on the ride back home from the dinner about how I needed to be in the next phase of life, that I've achieved what I've needed to achieve as a "measly high school student" and I need to be able to start my aspirations now. He called me out right away in the most frank way possible.

"You're impatient".

Every phase has a reason for being a phase. I knew that. But what I didn't realize until then was each phase also needs to be appreciated. There's a reason for everything that happens, the fact that every action has a consequence is proof of the theory.

As I mentioned in one of my first entries, life is about achieving a balance. Once life is balanced, then that is the perfect "utopia". Except, life can never be balanced. And once it does, the average human would become bored of perfection and therefore upset the balance of everything being "perfect". Rather, balance is achieved from experiencing the most extreme lower quartiles and the most extreme higher quartiles.

Imagine a scale and unweighed objects to the side. In order to achieve balance, you have to slowly put the objects one by one on each side of the scale. The farther away from a perfect balance the scale gets, the more knowledge you receive about how much each object weighs. The only tricky thing is, in real life, those objects will never have a set weight. It is a constant game of seesaw that you are bound to fall off from. The point of falling off though, is realizing which objects weigh more at the moment, and learning to stand back up again. The phrase that has been overused but so undervalued,

"If you fall down, pick yourself up and dust yourself off".

Know that sometimes, gravity weighs a lot more than it should. Know that sometimes, the weights of those objects will change so quick that you won't have the time to react correctly. Learn from them and understand most of all, you're not the only one fighting teeter-totters. Don't be afraid to ask for some help back up.

I've hit the lower quartile, a quartile that is bound to become lower one day. I've hit the upper quartile, a quartile that is also bound to be broken. And now, I've finally hit the median, a place where I've found balance. I am enjoying it. And now, I am treasuring this brief point in my life.

But, as nice it is... seesaws were never  as fun when they stayed still.

Life is a playground built on concrete; know that some of us are still here to hand out band-aids for when you trip.

Until next time world,
☮♥